


Game Night for the Midnight Crew

by Socrates3000



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Left For Dead 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-28
Updated: 2011-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-19 20:33:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/204926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Socrates3000/pseuds/Socrates3000
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Friday night for the Midnight Crew, and you know what that means! Game Night! Spades has decided that this game night needs to be extra special and not lame like what happens when they leave Deuce in charge. A silly stupid short story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Game Night for the Midnight Crew

Friday night at the Midnight Crew stronghold was a time for games. Sometimes, when Diamonds and Spades felt benevolent they let Deuce pick the game that they got to play. This usually lead to an hour of Chutes and Ladders and Candyland, at least until Spades lost, got mad, and threw his pieces at the board yelling that he was “sick of this shit.”

Some nights they let Droogs pick the games, this ended just as badly. Usually he wanted to play Dominion or Settlers of Catan or some other German game that had semi-confusing rules. Deuce would usually cry after 20 minutes of not getting it leading Spades to throw pieces at the board proclaiming once again that he was “sick of this shit.”

They don’t let Hearts pick the game, since the last game he picked turned out to be a strange dating simulator from a far off country that involved tentacles. This time Spades was literally sick of that shit.

Finally the time was just right. The planets were seemingly aligned and it was Spade’s turn to pick what game they got to play. He spent hours trying to find just the right game to incorporate the entire crew. One that would be challenging, but easy enough to pick up. One that wouldn’t lead to vomit sessions or to angry breakdowns. Finally he found just the right game. Left For Dead 2. “It’s perfect.” He told Diamonds the Thursday prior to game night, “I mean, it’s just killing things. We’re good at killing things, right? And it’s zombies, so Deuce won’t start blubbering his sickening little eyes out about how we’re hurting somebody like when we tried playing Manhunt.”

Friday finally rolled around. And after an unfortunate incident with the popcorn, and a bit of swearing the game was on the road. There was a bit of bickering involving what level to select (Clubs wanted to play Dark Carnival because he liked carnivals. Diamonds was able to talk him out of it because it “might be harder than the first level and we should probably get used to the game before charging in”) They chose to play Dead Center and selected their characters. Much to Diamonds displeasure, Spades snapped up the gentleman in the suit.

“Spades. Why did you take the sharply dressed gentleman? I would like to play as him.” Everyone knew that Diamonds liked clothes and snazzy dressers. “I think he seems like quite a distinguished character. Change so that I may play as him”

“Tough begonias, Diamonds. I got him first, so it looks like you’re going to have to get your panties out of a bunch and pick another character.” Spades was being his… erudite self as usual. Always a pleasure playing with this asshole… Goddamn it. When Droogs was arguing with Spades about who got to play as Nick, Clubs snatched up Ellis because he “liked his hat” and Hearts took Coach. Diamonds was stuck with… Rochelle. Rochelle. He already hated her. She seemed completely void of personality, a character added because they needed a fourth person to round out the testosterone laden survivors. He was fuming so much he didn’t realize Spades had started it already.

“So what is this game about anyway?” mumbled Hearts. He didn’t play games much. He wasn’t really allowed near the computer anymore and he just spent his time reading his romance novels when they weren’t busy doing whatever they needed to do. “So we’re on a roof or something? Why are we left for dead?”

Spades sighed. Idiots. Surrounded by idiots. “There doesn’t need to be an in-depth plot. There are zombies. We are humans. Zombies want to eat us. We kill them. The end. THE. END.” Nick mumbled something onscreen, cutting off one of Ellis’ stories about the guy named Keith. “Huh…that guy sounds a bit like me. I like the cut of his jib.”

They selected their weapons (Spades the axe, Diamonds duel pistols, Clubs a baseball bat, and Hearts an axe as well) and descended into the hotel to find their way to the mall. “I like this game… ” mumbled Clubs. “Is it just walking through places together?” As soon as he finished his sentence the zombies descended. Zombies everywhere. Swarming from adjacent rooms, spilling into the hallway as if a massive wave of the undead was meant to sweep them all up and wash them away in a pile of rotting flesh. Clubs screamed, threw the controller in the air and started flailing his arms around. The controller sailed through the air, smacking Spades in the back of the head. Normally he would have given Deuce a verbal lashing, just like normal, but he was busy concentrating.

Zombies. Zombies everywhere. “Spades.” Hearts asked. “This game is too intense. This is normal?”

“Fuck no it’s not normal. What are we, babies who have to suckle at the teats of mediocrity to play what seems easiest to us? Hell no motherfucker, this is Expert. We are the midnight crew, we ride hard we die hard. Now are you gonna play you simpering sack of shit or are you just gonna blubber about how hard this is.”

Triumphant in his impressive verbal jackassery, Spades had his character turn around just in time to see a large brute of a thing acquaint his face with the wall. The one-armed freak picked his character up and played him like a yo-yo. “HEY. WOAH. OW. THIS GUY IS JUST. HEY MOTHERFUCKS WHY DON’T YOU GIVE ME SOME HELP HERE. DIAMONDS? COME ON?”

Diamond’s character strode past Spade. Looking at him for a minute, he decided that he was much to busy running in the opposite direction. “I think Hearts needs my help… looking… at this wall.” Diamonds had to stop himself from chuckling. Take the dapper man will you? He and Hearts made their way to the elevator. Although this was the “easiest” campaign they had both already used their health packs after an unfortunate incident with a smoker and a spitter.

While the two surviving members were waiting for the elevator, Spades was fuming over slowly becoming floor pizza. “FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUCK THIS. FUCK IT. YOU. FUCK. YOU KILLED ME. YOU LEFT ME. LEFT ME FOR DEAD. THE TWO OF YOU. LEFT ME. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ASSHOLES I’M SICK OF THIS SHIT!” The temper tantrum was punctuated by Spades throwing his controller straight through the tv, effectively ending their gamer session. “FFFUCK! SICK OF IT. THERE ARE SO MANY SHITS THAT I’M SICK OF AND TWO OF THEM ARE SITTING RIGHT HERE!” He kicked over his chair, picked it up again just to smash it into the floor. He picked it up by the leg and started smashing it into the wall, sending splinters flying all across the room. Spades stormed out of the room in a huff grabbed his special ‘angry-time’ tray of Scottie dogs.

After he slammed the door, Deuce peered over the couch that he hid behind every time Spades got mad clutching a beat up box slathered with primary colors. “Wouldja like to play Candy Land? Huh? Wouldja? Wouldja?”

Game night as usual for the Midnight Crew.

THE STUPID END.


End file.
